Pa rapa pum pum

Simple. Humble. Beautiful. Much like my Jesus, for whom this song was written:)

Magazine Article

The following is the finished product of my final project for my feature writing class. My finished final feature… alliteration! Anyways, I profiled the promoting company Supernova and interwove myself (and band) throughout the story. I could have included the opinions that other promoters in the city have of Supernova, along with some more interviews with the bands dealing with their aspirations, which would have made for a better story. Nevertheless, here is my B+ magazine article.

It’s been just over two years since I climbed the steps in this venue to play my first show in Toronto. My band had been together for a few months by then, and we wanted to show off some of the songs we wrote to our friends, and look pro while we were doing it. A friend who had played a couple of shows recommended a company, and no more than two months later we were signed up to play a show for them. Now I’m back inside the building and it’s every bit what I remembered it to be.

That’s the thing about concert venues. You can go to a show as a teen, and come back 15 years later to find that absolutely nothing has changed. The Reverb exemplifies this. The cheesy disco ball still hangs in the centre of the room. Circular tables and a few wooden chairs are sparsely scattered across the floor. And, much like the first time I entered the venue, almost nobody is here. A three-piece band is playing parts of an instrumental song I assume they’ve written. I don’t recognize it. The venue lights are still on, which is usually a good indicator that the band is still sound checking.

I was here just a month ago to see two of my favourite bands play a gig. Four Year Strong and Set Your Goals played on July 18 and turned the room into a sweaty mess of lanky teenagers with long hair and neon shirts. Not a single empty space could be seen and God help anyone who wanted to sit somewhere and relax. Crowd surfing and good-natured moshing took place and everyone had a good time. The band playing now—The Dependables—doesn’t even have a singer. The only people in the building are the bartender, security, a couple of parents and me.

If I was told a few years ago that someday my band would play on the same stage as some of my idols, I wouldn’t have believed it. I would have thought that my band needed to gain some credibility and build a fan base in order to do something like that, which I knew would have been a near impossible feat for our band. At that point in my life, I wasn’t aware that those things weren’t necessary to play a show. At that point in my life, I had not yet heard of Supernova.

Supernova is a different kind of concert promotion company that started out of Toronto in 1992. Co-founder Elliot Hurst noticed that a lot of his friends were in bands but never had the opportunity to play any shows because they were underage. Venues typically ignore bands that don’t already have a fan base, because the chance of them bringing in any money is slim. Hurst persevered, and got lucky with a last-minute cancellation at a Toronto venue. He rounded up eight bands to play and drew a crowd of about 700 throughout the entire night. He knew he’d stumbled upon a good business model. Supernova’s goal was to become the ultimate destination for independent bands and their fans, and they would provide the shows to do it.

Competing companies, such as Famecast and Ourstage.com, don’t worry Hurst too much. According to him, being tech savvy and having a proven track record is what keeps Supernova on top. It is currently the only national promoting company of its type, boasting an extensive social networking site that creates a community in which fans and artists can discover new bands, sign up for shows and promote their own music. The internet and live shows are the company’s one-two punch, providing the stage for bands to play as well as giving them leverage with some upper level music companies such as Reverb Nation and Sonicbids. With their ‘brick to click’ business model (shows being the brick, social networking being the click), Supernova is set to be the most prominent promoting company in Canada for some time to come, opening their doors to anyone who wants a shot.

It wasn’t hard to book our first show with Supernova. We created a profile on its website and clicked on a link that would sign us up to play on August 9, 2007. A day or two later, we received a phone call from a company representative and we were on our way to the office to sign an agreement and pick up our batch of tickets to sell. We returned to Supernova after selling all of our tickets, and we were offered a set time of our choosing. We chose 9 p.m. thinking it would be when most people would be there. The band playing now, The Dependables, clearly didn’t sell enough tickets to warrant a later set time.

The Dependables finish up their songs as I writhe in one of the chairs. Of course they would be uncomfortable. Who goes to a concert so they can enjoy a nice sit? I relinquish my coveted seat to check out the rest of the line-up posted next to the entrance. My gaze drops down to my watch. Six p.m. There are still 14 bands left on the bill. Crying to myself inside, I make my way back to the four-legged torture device and brace myself for a few more high school cover bands. A teenage girl named Jacelyn Holmes takes the stage and begins to play an acoustic set. Dissonant claps float through the air as she thanks people for coming. I think she has some relatives and a friend or two watching her. To my surprise, she actually has a pretty powerful voice on her. The next band lugs their equipment across the empty dance floor, talking over her set to each other. An entourage of friends follow them into a corner where they fool around with each other and haphazardly set up their equipment. They clap once in a while for the girl on stage, not really paying attention. Shame. She was the only spark of talent I had seen so far, and she wasn’t getting the respect any artist deserves. I hope her first performance isn’t as much of a letdown for her as these teenagers are making it out to be. I’m now curious as to how the next act would sound. She finished up the set and sheepishly left the stage. A three-piece high school band takes the stage next, and look like they are about to play blink-182’s entire catalogue.

There were many more people at our first show. We had a lot of support from our friends, and there were also plenty of other people there that we had never met before. We were eager for everyone to hear us, and we were offered a prize if we sold all of our tickets, so we ended up selling them to anyone who would take them—whether or not they wanted to come to the show. As a result of selling over 60 tickets, Supernova hooked us up with a prime set time and gave us 200 free buttons for our band. I sat outside for almost an hour before our set, because there was little to no room to stand inside and my knees felt like jelly. As far as I was concerned at that moment, we had made it as rock stars. Set to play in front of an audience that was easily upward of 50 people, we thought we had hit the jackpot. Never mind that no one had ever heard us play a single song. Supernova took us anyway. I walked up the stairs with my band mates; we pushed our way through the crowd, said a little prayer, and took the stage. The hollering and whistling of the crowd filled the room. They could have been jeering and mocking us for all I knew. I was deaf to all but the sound of my own heartbeat. My guitarists were discussing something as they plugged into their amps. I sat on my throne and gripped my drumsticks tightly. The lead singer turned around and gave me the nod. That was my cue. I raised my sticks and we began to play our first live show as Start Tomorrow.

Like Start Tomorrow just a few years ago, many of the bands playing at tonight’s Supernova show, entitled Break Your Band 2009, are doing it for the first time. In fact, with about 60 shows a year in Toronto alone, and with every show hosting an average of 11 bands, you can be willing to bet that the majority of these bands are new. When the internet became a part of everyday life, Hurst knew he had to take Supernova into the digital world. He noticed the rapid growth and networking advantages of MySpace and realized the internet’s potential for social networking. Supernova was now able to target any age, demographic and musical genre that Toronto’s music scene had to offer. Through this, Supernova attracts bands in droves. And it doesn’t hurt them any that some of Canada’s most prominent bands from the last few years have played at Supernova gigs. Three Days Grace and Billy Talent both played shows with the company, and Supernova claim to have given Sum 41 their rise to fame.

Sum 41 were originally named Kaspir, but changed it when they played their first show with Supernova in September of 1996. Just a few months later, Greg Nori of Treble Charger attended another show that Supernova had set up, and Sum 41 was discovered. This success story gives hope to hundreds of bands that are looking for their big break through Supernova. But it seems unlikely that you would emerge in the spotlight playing for your parents in a near empty venue, doesn’t it? Poor Jacelyn Holmes didn’t have an audience, or a chance. And in a show with 15 bands set to play, it’s unlikely that anyone would stay for the entire program, dramatically decreasing a band’s chance at getting noticed.

As the blink-182 cover band finishes, another high school pop-punk act takes the stage. And this damn chair has just about cut off all circulation to the lower half of my body. I’m ready to go home. I decide to go get a slice of pizza and return later in an effort to hear something I would like. As I return to the venue, I notice the crowd has doubled, if not tripled, in number. Friends of the cover bands have left with them, but there’s still an evident increase in bodies. Frenemy has just taken the stage, playing metal infused punk riffs that wouldn’t sound out of place on the Crank soundtrack. The band is tight and the music is energetic, and there isn’t a single bad cover in their set. Finally, I feel like I’m at a concert. I’m pleasantly surprised, and put in a request to interview them for my story. Before we leave to talk, the next band starts to set up and catches my attention.

There is a didgeridoo haphazardly taped to a music stand, an acoustic guitar player, a bassist, and a drummer that is standing at a microphone. The make-up of the band has me curious, so I tell Frenemy that I will interview them after this set. They introduce themselves as Rain Delay and then the lead singer starts beat boxing into the mic. It looks like he’s just fooling around, but then the bassist and the drummer start beat boxing as well and they create an infectious and entertaining rhythm. They finish their beat boxing and the drummer takes a seat behind the kit. Would you look at that? Already a crowd favourite and they haven’t even touched their instruments yet. The lead singer starts to use the didgeridoo and play his guitar at the same time. The result is one of the most unique songs I’ve heard in a long time, and all by a band that has only played a show or two in their life. They continue to play several more original songs with a few jokes in between and a cover of George Michael’s song “Faith” that was much better than the original. The way the show started, I never would have thought I would hear such a talented band only two hours later on the exact same stage.

Hurst acknowledges that with the dramatic increase in bands that are looking for shows, and the ability of Supernova to give all these bands shows, it is much harder to find diamonds in the rough. But, talent is talent. Rain Delay won the competition via an online vote, and will advance to the finals along with winning a few hours of recording time. The grand prize for making it all the way is valued at $25,000 and includes advice from several industry professionals, the winning song being placed on iTunes, and CD promotion packages.

There are those that will criticize Supernova for over-scheduling shows and favouring the bands that sell the most tickets. But you only get out of it what you put into it. Supernova is the only promoting company that will never ask for any money up front from your band, which is something that Mike from Frenemy really respected about the company. His band is going on to play at the Sound Academy in January.

Supernova caters to all bands. Bands that have never written an original song, bands that aren’t good enough to make any real money, bands that want to get up on stage and just have fun, and bands that take themselves seriously are all welcomed by Supernova. Hurst provides the platform for bands at all different paths in their existence, but that also means that there are a lot of other bands to compete with and a lot of other noise to drown out. All that means is that aspiring bands will just have to work that much harder.

Two years and four months later, Start Tomorrow find themselves with one less band member, and a bit out of practice. A temporary hiatus has significantly slowed our musical progress, and even something as simple as practice is hindered by academic obligation. Our goal when we first started out was to play a real show, and we achieved it. Now, all I want is to play at least one more show that would match the raw energy and excitement of the first time that we played with Supernova. I want bright lights to reflect off my drums as I play, while my band works the stage and feeds the crowd. I want feel like a rock star. Just once more.

It’s been just over two years since I climbed the steps in this venue to play my first show in Toronto. My band had been together for a few months by then, and we wanted to show off some of the songs we wrote to our friends, and look pro while we were doing it. A friend who had played a couple of shows recommended a company, and no more than two months later we were signed up to play a show for them. Now I’m back inside the building and it’s every bit what I remembered it to be.

That’s the thing about concert venues. You can go to a show as a teen, and come back 15 years later to find that absolutely nothing has changed. The Reverb exemplifies this. The cheesy disco ball still decorates [hangs in? dominates?] the centre of the room. Circular tables and a few wooden chairs are sparsely scattered across the floor. And, much like the first time I entered the venue, almost nobody is here. A three-piece band is playing parts of an instrumental song I assume they’ve written. I don’t recognize it. The venue lights are still on, which is usually a good indicator that the band is still sound checking.

I was here just a month ago to see two of my favourite bands play a gig. Four Year Strong and Set Your Goals played on July 18 and turned the room into a sweaty mess of lanky teenagers with long hair and neon shirts. Not a single empty space could be seen and God help anyone who wanted to sit somewhere and relax. Crowd surfing and good-natured moshing took place and everyone had a good time. The band playing now—The Dependables—doesn’t even have a singer. The only people in the building are the bartender, security, a couple of parents and me.

If I was told a few years ago that someday my band would play on the same stage as some of my idols, I wouldn’t have believed it. I would have thought that my band needed to gain some credibility and build a fan base in order to do something like that, which I knew would have been a near impossible feat for our band. At that point in my life, I wasn’t aware that those things weren’t necessary to play a show. At that point in my life, I had not yet heard of Supernova.

Supernova is a different kind of concert promotion company that started out of Toronto in 1992. Co-founder Elliot Hurst noticed that a lot of his friends were in bands but never had the opportunity to play any shows because they were underage. Venues typically ignore bands that don’t already have a fan base, because the chance of them bringing in any money is slim. Hurst persevered, and got lucky with a last-minute cancellation at a Toronto venue. He rounded up eight bands to play and drew a crowd of about 700 throughout the entire night. He knew he’d stumbled upon a good business model. Supernova’s goal was to become the ultimate destination for independent bands and their fans, and they would provide the shows to do it.

Competing companies, such as Famecast and Ourstage.com [these are international companies?], don’t worry Hurst too much. According to him, being tech savvy and having a proven track record is what keeps Supernova on top. It is currently the only national promoting company of its type within the country, boasting an extensive social networking site that creates a community in which fans and artists can discover new bands, sign up for shows and promote their own music. The internet and live shows are the company’s one-two punch, providing the stage for bands to play as well as giving them leverage with some upper level music companies such as Reverb Nation and Sonicbids. With their ‘brick to click’ business model [not sure what this means…], Supernova is set to be the most prominent promoting company in Canada for some time to come, opening their doors to anyone who wants a shot.

It wasn’t hard to book our first show with Supernova. We created a profile on its website and clicked on a link that would sign us up to play on August 9, 2007. A day or two later, we received a phone call from a company representative and we were on our way to the office to sign an agreement and pick up our batch of tickets to sell. We returned to Supernova after selling all of our tickets, and we were offered a set time of our choosing. We chose 9 p.m. thinking it would be when most people would be there. The band playing now, The Dependables, clearly didn’t sell enough tickets to warrant a later set time.

The Dependables finish up their songs as I writhe in one of the chairs. Of course they would be uncomfortable. Who goes to a concert so they can enjoy a nice sit? I relinquish my coveted seat to check out the rest of the line-up posted next to the entrance. My gaze drops down to my watch. Six p.m. There are still 14 bands left on the bill. Crying to myself inside, I make my way back to the four-legged torture device and brace myself for a few more high school cover bands. A teenage girl named Jacelyn Holmes takes the stage and begins to play an acoustic set. Dissonant claps float through the air as she thanks people for coming. I think she has some relatives and a friend or two watching her. To my surprise, she actually has a pretty powerful voice on her. The next band lugs their equipment across the empty dance floor, talking over her set to each other. An entourage of friends follow them into a corner where they fool around with each other and haphazardly set up their equipment. They clap once in a while for the girl on stage, not really paying attention. Shame. She was the only spark of talent I had seen so far, and she wasn’t getting the respect any artist deserves. I hope her first performance isn’t as much of a letdown for her as these teenagers are making it out to be. I’m now curious as to how the next act would sound. She finished up the set and sheepishly left the stage. A three-piece high school band takes the stage next, and look like they are about to play blink-182’s entire catalogue.

There were many more people at our first show. We had a lot of support from our friends, and there were also plenty of other people there that we had never met before. We were eager for everyone to hear us, and we were offered a prize if we sold all of our tickets, so we ended up selling them to anyone who would take them—whether or not they wanted to come to the show. As a result of selling over 60 tickets, Supernova hooked us up with a prime set time and gave us 200 free buttons for our band. I sat outside for almost an hour before our set, because there was little to no room to stand inside and my knees felt like jelly. As far as I was concerned at that moment, we had made it as rock stars. Set to play in front of an audience that was easily upward of 50 people, we thought we had hit the jackpot. Never mind that no one had ever heard us play a single song. Supernova took us anyway. I walked up the stairs with my band mates; we pushed our way through the crowd, said a little prayer, and took the stage. The hollering and whistling of the crowd filled the room. They could have been jeering and mocking us for all I knew. I was deaf to all but the sound of my own heartbeat. My guitarists were discussing something as they plugged into their amps. I sat on my throne and gripped my drumsticks tightly. The lead singer turned around and gave me the nod. That was my cue. I raised my sticks and we began to play our first live show as Start Tomorrow.

Like Start Tomorrow just a few years ago, many of the bands playing at tonight’s Supernova show, entitled Break Your Band 2009, are doing it for the first time. In fact, with about 60 shows a year in Toronto alone, and with every show hosting an average of 11 bands, you can be willing to bet that the majority of these bands are new. When the internet became a part of everyday life, Hurst knew he had to take Supernova into the digital world. He noticed the rapid growth and networking advantages of MySpace and realized the internet’s potential for social networking. Supernova was now able to target any age, demographic and musical genre that Toronto’s music scene had to offer. Through this, Supernova attracts bands in droves. And it doesn’t hurt them any that some of Canada’s most prominent bands from the last few years have played at Supernova gigs. Three Days Grace and Billy Talent both played shows with the company, and Supernova claim to have given Sum 41 their rise to fame.

Sum 41 were originally named Kaspir, but changed it when they played their first show with Supernova in September of 1996. Just a few months later, Greg Nori of Treble Charger attended another show that Supernova had set up, and Sum 41 was discovered. This success story gives hope to hundreds of bands that are looking for their big break through Supernova. But it seems unlikely that you would emerge in the spotlight playing for your parents in a near empty venue, doesn’t it? Poor Jacelyn Holmes didn’t have an audience, or a chance. And in a show with 15 bands set to play, it’s unlikely that anyone would stay for the entire program, dramatically decreasing a band’s chance at getting noticed.

As the blink-182 cover band finishes, another high school pop-punk act takes the stage. And this damn chair has just about cut off all circulation to the lower half of my body. I’m ready to go home. I decide to go get a slice of pizza and return later in an effort to hear something I would like. As I return to the venue, I notice the crowd has doubled, if not tripled, in number. Friends of the cover bands have left with them, but there’s still an evident increase in bodies. Frenemy has just taken the stage, playing metal infused punk riffs that wouldn’t sound out of place on the Crank soundtrack. The band is tight and the music is energetic, and there isn’t a single bad cover in their set. Finally, I feel like I’m at a concert. I’m pleasantly surprised, and put in a request to interview them for my story. Before we leave to talk, the next band starts to set up and catches my attention.

There is a didgeridoo haphazardly taped to a music stand, an acoustic guitar player, a bassist, and a drummer that is standing at a microphone. The make-up of the band has me curious, so I tell Frenemy that I will interview them after this set. They introduce themselves as Rain Delay and then the lead singer starts beat boxing into the mic. It looks like he’s just fooling around, but then the bassist and the drummer start beat boxing as well and they create an infectious and entertaining rhythm. They finish their beat boxing and the drummer takes a seat behind the kit. Would you look at that? Already a crowd favourite and they haven’t even touched their instruments yet. The lead singer starts to use the didgeridoo and play his guitar at the same time. The result is one of the most unique songs I’ve heard in a long time, and all by a band that has only played a show or two in their life. They continue to play several more original songs with a few jokes in between and a cover of George Michael’s song “Faith” that was much better than the original. The way the show started, I never would have thought I would hear such a talented band only two hours later on the exact same stage.

Hurst acknowledges that with the dramatic increase in bands that are looking for shows, and the ability of Supernova to give all these bands shows, it is much harder to find diamonds in the rough. But, talent is talent. Rain Delay won the competition via an online vote, and will advance to the finals along with winning a few hours of recording time. The grand prize for making it all the way is valued at $25,000 and includes advice from several industry professionals, the winning song being placed on iTunes, and CD promotion packages.

There are those that will criticize Supernova for over-scheduling shows and favouring the bands that sell the most tickets. But you only get out of it what you put into it. Supernova is the only promoting company that will never ask for any money up front from your band, which is something that Mike from Frenemy really respected about the company. His band is going on to play at the Sound Academy in January.

Supernova caters to all bands. Bands that have never written an original song, bands that aren’t good enough to make any real money, bands that want to get up on stage and just have fun, and bands that take themselves seriously are all welcomed by Supernova. Hurst provides the platform for bands at all different paths in their existence, but that also means that there are a lot of other bands to compete with and a lot of other noise to drown out. All that means is that aspiring bands will just have to work that much harder.

Two years and four months later, Start Tomorrow find themselves with one less band member, and a bit out of practice. A temporary hiatus has significantly slowed our musical progress, and even something as simple as practice is hindered by academic obligation. Our goal when we first started out was to play a real show, and we achieved it. Now, all I want is to play at least one more show that would match the raw energy and excitement of the first time that we played with Supernova. I want bright lights to reflect off my drums as I play, while my band works the stage and feeds the crowd. I want feel like a rock star. Just once more.

Apparently I never learn my lesson.

Spicy food at 2:00 a.m. is always a bad idea.

A City of Unmet Expectations

The following is an article I wrote for my third-year feature writing class. A major improvment over my first draft, but overall it’s pretty mediocre imo. Well, have a look-see and decide for yourself!

Rob Spence — or Mr. Toronto as he appears in Let’s All Hate Toronto – nestles into his chair and enlightens me about his plans for the future.

“I think I’m going to move to New York,” Mr. Toronto says as he sips his pint of Keith’s. He had in fact ordered a Creemore’s but instead decided to be a typical Canadian and accept what he was given. While he had learned to like Toronto a little bit more as he directed and starred in his documentary, he still didn’t find enough reason to stick around.

We live in a city that the rest of Canada loves to hate. While we did rank second in AskMen.com’s hottest cities for women in Canada, we’re not winning any other popularity awards. Let’s All Hate Toronto, which was released in 2007, took us across Canada only to find people’s opinions are less than favorable towards our city. A Coors Light billboard in B.C. was mounted in August with a slogan that read “Colder than Most People in Toronto.” Clearly Canadians are having fun at our expense.

The strange thing is—the ad campaign being removed after one day aside—Torontonians likely don’t care. Even the people who live in the nation’s largest metropolis aren’t all that fond of their city. Nine times out of ten, when asked how they like their city, a Torontonian will respond with resentment or malaise. Even the ones who react positively towards the city aren’t exactly brimming with pride.

So what is it about Toronto that makes its citizens so apathetic? Sure, our beloved hockey team hasn’t won the cup in over 40 years. And yes, our oft-delayed public transit system is prone to raising fare’s regularly with little to no improvement in efficiency. But every city has their problems. Why do we suffer from such a lack of pride?

Perhaps it’s because expectations just aren’t being met. After being told they live in a world class city for so long, Torontonians are looking around and still not seeing it.

“What’s interesting about Toronto is that its citizens are all from somewhere else, and they bring their expectations with them,” says Andy Barrie, a longtime host for CBC Radio’s Metro Morning show.

“People come to this city because it’s the big cheese. They come for a better job or for a better school. It’s really a business decision to move here. It’s not like that in places like Montreal, and that probably breeds a small amount of discontent,” Barrie says.

Another possible factor that may contribute to our general sense of malaise could be that we boast about things that we simply have no place boasting about. Toronto has long and often been touted as the most multi-cultural city in the world, and publications have claimed that the UN has officially made this statement.

In Spence’s documentary, they reveal that this claim was the result of an irresponsible journalist who gave misleading information. In fact, we have not been declared the most multi-cultural city in the world by the UN. Vancouver and Montreal both have multi-cultural demographics that rival Toronto.

Festivals like Nuit Blanche and TIFF are major selling points for our city. But the problem is that they’re just not creative enough. TIFF was unveiled in 1976, almost 40 years after CANNES had been pioneered. And Nuit Blanche went through places like Paris and Montreal before it finally arrived in Toronto.

“It’s like a smaller, suckier version of Times Square,” Spence says when asked his opinion on Toronto’s new commercialized hub, Dundas Square. “Toronto is like the teenager, insecure and not really sure who he is. That’s why you see Toronto trying to emulate all these other places.”

The city of Toronto, while they may not agree that the general opinion of Toronto is less than favourable, recognizes that we need a significant boost in our image. This is evident in the Queens Quay revitalization project that will be sinking $192-million to give our waterfront a facelift. The money will be going towards replacing two lanes of traffic with a linear park and a tree lined trail that will be a safer and more attractive means of transportation across the waterfront. Artistic designs and installation concept art has already been installed such as the Spadina WaveDeck that gives the street a more artsy and cultural feel to it.

But don’t expect the city to change because several million dollars is being invested to make it look nicer. It’s just not who Toronto is.

“Toronto is very much a Scottish Presbyterian city at its roots, which is very much all work and no fun,” Barrie says as he tries to trace back the problem. “We live in a city of strivers. People all over the world come to work here because it’s the most challenging city in Canada to work in.”

So is there any hope for a city like Toronto? Have we doomed ourselves to be stuck with the boring all-work-and-no-play moniker? Probably, but it’s likely that we don’t really care.

“I kind of like how Toronto is. They’re like the kids at the school spirit rally that don’t care enough to participate. They were just too cool to care. It always takes a little longer for those kids to grow up, but they get there eventually. Toronto will get there eventually,” Rob Spence says.

According to Barrie, the city is far too busy to ever be as lovable as Canada’s other popular cities.

“It’s the city of averted eyes, it’s nothing like Montreal or Calgary or Vancouver. Those cities have a more relaxed culture. It makes this city easy to admire, but not easy to love,” Barrie says.

“It’s like a woman you marry for her money. You can get along with her, and in time even learn to love her, but in the end it’s a business decision. It’s not the same as being in a passionate relationship.”

The billboard was right. Our city is cold. But that’s who we are; we just have to learn how to embrace it.

Panama

I´m sitting in an internet cafe across the street from the Universidad de Panama. My stomach has the rumblies, and I have 13 minutes of time left on this computer before I get to go home and attempt the laundry process. I´m sure it´ll be an interesting experience, as everything else is in Panama. Here are some of the major things I´ve noticed:

• - The comma´s are a little bit more slanted here
• Food is extremely cheap. I eat on campus for about $2.
• Anyone with a Yaris can potentially be a cab driver. And no matter how beat up the car is, they always have a pimpin sound system.
• They have a very limited concept of what ´ensalada´is here. I.E. a few leaves of lettuce with a tomato slice on top. Someone mentioned they feel like they might get scurvy. I have similar worries.
• Smoothies are AMAZING! I´ve never had so many in my life.
• Students are really receptive to the gospel. They all have it pretty close, but many misunderstand the concept of grace.
• I know less spanish than I thought.
• A cornflake batido (milkshake) is exactly what it sounds like. And yes, it exists.
• People who live outside of Toronto don´t know what Shawarma is, for the most part.
• It´s always hot, and it always rains. And when it rains… it rains. My goodness does it ever rain.
• God is doing amazing things in the hearts of Panamanian students, and I truly believe that this city will become a powerful sending ground for future missionaries.
• I´m running out of time on the internet.
• I have 30 seconds left… I hope this posts.

 

Striking similarities

These are just a few of the situations I normally find myself in. My life has a striking resemblance to Jon Arbuckle’s. How enlightening.

Argumentative Agreement with Mr. Orwell.

The English language is hard to objectively defend as something worthy of admiration. It sounds abhorrent compared to the rigidly structured and eloquent languages of the world and makes little to no sense as far as grammatical rules go. Exceptions surprise you in every possible case, which makes the language almost completely absent of absolute rules. On the other hand, you might say that the English language warrants awe and even has a magical quality to it. That we are able to converse in such a broken language is truly remarkable. Not that it has always been at its current state; rather it has regressed over time due to the languor of the modern man and the perversion of the language’s original usage. George Orwell would emphatically agree — while criticizing me on my grammar and prose – that the English language now thrives on vagueness and its tendency to skew intended meaning. In many cases, this is the intent. However, it’s become so commonplace in language that it’s done subconsciously. While the six rules that Orwell outlines in his essay entitled “Politics and the English Language” are a little pretentious and restricting, the purpose of them is to guide the current state of the English language back to its original clarity and precision.

In a book published shortly after the essay “Politics and the English Language,” Orwell introduces a fictional language called Newspeak. The idea of this language was to reduce the vocabulary in such a way that it would restrict free-thinkers. This presupposes that we are only able to think what we can express through words. While I fundamentally disagree with this ideology, the intended result remains the same; to gain social control of the masses. This is arguably a direct reference to Orwell’s essay in which he comments on language being used to obscure truth. Political writing is rife with rhetoric that is intended to obscure truth in an effort to sound acceptable to the masses. As Orwell puts it in his essay: “Political language… is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.”

This alone is worthy of an essay the size of the Encyclopedia Britannica. The truth this statement holds is far reaching. Looking to any Presidential speech, we can easily find vague usage of language that is almost completely autonomous from any sort of solid meaning. Picking an easy target, I chose a line from former President George W. Bush’s inauguration speech in 2005.

“All who live in tyranny and hopelessness can know: the United States will not ignore your oppression, or excuse your oppressors. When you stand for your liberty, we will stand with you.”

While admittedly, it is easy to take a quote and completely tear it to shreds without the accountability of its proper context within the speech. Rest assured, the entire speech sounds like this, context be damned. The words are utterly meaningless and promise absolutely nothing to the people of America. They are meant to fool the people into a false sense of security and confidence in their country, without having any real justification to warrant it. It’s a subtle work of coercion and it plagues every political speech ever written. If one were to reword the previous Presidential quote to be more truthful and effective (from a linguistic point of view), it would read something like this:

“Everyone living in countries with values not identical to America’s: we will invade your country and force assimilation. Oh yeah, and we’ll take some of your oil while we’re at it.”

But of course, no human being would react positively to such a statement, so it has to be manipulated in such a way as to make the truth much more latent. It is worth noting at this point, that Orwell’s definition of good writing is not writing that has the ability to be persuasive. Good writing is defined by its clarity and succinctness. So while the President may have pacified the people of the United States with a carefully worded lullaby, he failed to follow Orwell’s principal rule. For that alone, the president should be ashamed.

George Orwell definitely had a point when he wrote his essay criticizing the state of the English language back in 1946. His six rules may have well intentioned, but restricting nonetheless. Never using a metaphor or simile you’ve seen in print would be almost impossible, as new metaphors and similes would have to be constantly made up. We would run out of metaphors at some point or another. Also, metaphors and similes that are used often in print are used often for a reason: because they work. Over-usage is another story. Long words often sound much nicer than short words do. The eloquence of a verbose sentence should not be tossed aside in favor of simplicity. Cutting words out when unnecessary is a rule that I agree with in theory, but as made evident by this very sentence, I tend not to follow the rule very often. A passive voice is necessary in order to make a piece more pertinent, and I agree with using English words over foreign equivalents (which is ironic I suppose, considering my distaste for the English language). And finally, break any of these rules before sounding outright barbarous.

I’ve taken the liberty of breaking every single one of these rules to prove that they need not be followed to produce good English. I maintain the viewpoint that these rules were set in an effort to persuade writers to be more thoughtful about their choice of words, and to not detach meaning from them as is so commonly seen in modern writing. Good writing is clear, and to the point. I suppose Orwell should have been more clear on that.

Sample Towers

It has come to my attention recently that I have more symptoms of OCD than I originally thought. Compulsively stacking anything that’s stackable (and even things that aren’t necessarily). I have a habit of stacking milk cartons, condiments, packs of sugar, pencils, finger foods–basically anything that there are a lot of. And I’ll be completely immersed until I achieve a reasonable goal that I set for myself. Such as, a six-tiered card pyramid, a 30 cm sugar packet wall, or in this case, a tower of sample cups over 13 high.

I should note that, while I do this at work (and sometimes takes up the better part of an hour), I only do it when there’s absolutely nothing else to be done in the store. This is normally the case on Saturday mornings. It’s been the case for about 17 months now.

I set the bar to 13 because that’s the maximum I’ve achieved, and it happens quite often. I never seemed to be able to get that fourteenth cup on there. But alas, my greatest (ocd related) achievement:

Sample Tower Record!!!

It’s a good day:)  Feel free to congratulate me! A few of my customers did, heheh.

I think I’m missing something here. Maybe I just don’t understand economics.

CTV has just spent $153 million for the broadcasting rights to the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver.  It’s going to cost $1.63 billion to host the olympics.

What are the benefits of this? International recognition? A better seat on the world stage? Bragging rights? Honour? Pride?

Awesome. While kids in other countries are dying because they don’t have clean water and can’t afford to eat everyday, we’ll have comfortable access to all the events in our nice cozy living rooms.

While women are selling their bodies out of desparation to support their families, and are contracting/spreading AIDS, we get to look back on 2010 in a few years and bask in the pride thatcomes with hosting such an elaborate event.

The total cost of the presidential inauguration cost $150 million. I wonder what would have happened if instead of having a nice party, the president decided to give that money to a developing country, so that it might be sustainable for the next few lifetimes.

People would probably be pissed. Go figure.

It’s my birthday.

My phone just reminded me.

woot.